Trying to Find Motivation (and Failing Miserably) || CHIT CHAT

Hello everyone!

I’ve had a completely different post planned for today, but boy can things change fast 😀 Today I am here with one of the very rare personal posts. I’m not sure how you’ll interpret this, but I am not trying to be superficial or brag about being skinny, so please don’t judge 😀 Some of you may know that I’ve decided to challenge myself this year. I wrote a post at the beginning of the year on all my goals for this year.

One of my goals was to start working out at least 2 times a week consistently. That has always been my problem… Especially the ‘consistant’ part. However, I decided that it was time.
To give you a little bit of background. Ever since I was a child, I have been super skinny. And when I say super skinny, I mean almost as if I had an eating disorder skinny. I mostly didn’t eat enough (I ate until I was full, I didn’t starve myself by any means) and there were many foods I didn’t even want to try, because I didn’t like them. I was virtually so thin that I was transparrent!

I am around 8 or 9 years old in this pic
When I reached puberty, I realized that it was really hard for me to gain weight (yes, I do realize that some of you may think that it’s not so bad, but trust me, it was). Anyways, at first, my goal was to reach 40 kg and when I did it, I think my mom was even happier than me. Next goal was 45, and then 50. Now, to give you a little bit of a time frame… Each goal took years, and I mean literally years, as in at least 4, to reach.

Meanwhile, I did play tennis, I took Zumba classes, pilates, aerobics, I roller skate occasionally, but none of these are on a weekly basis, and especially not two times a week.

Fast forward to today. I am now around 52 kg and am 170 cm tall. That’s still super skinny, but I am actually fairly happy with my body. My legs are still super thin, but overall, I am the happiest with my body than ever. However, lately, I noticed that I was getting a bit of a muffin top 😀 My stomach area, as well as my upper thighs, my hips and my butt became kind of my problem areas. And no, I do not think I’m fat.

Seeing all of these changes is completely new to me. Then, when I noticed some celulite on my thighs last summer, it was a red alert for me. That is the proof right there, that skinny people can have cellulite! I started eating a lot more fruits and vegetables (which I really didn’t before that), and I started ‘working out’. Why ‘working out’? Well, I’d play volleyball every once in a while, I’d play tennis once a month, I’d roller skate occasionally, but I never really made a commitment. That is why I decided it had to change this year.

Fast forward to about a month ago. I decided I was going to work out at least twice a week. And I really made up my mind. Guess what happened? I did Zumba on Monday and then I did absolutely nothing for the next month. And now fast forward to yesterday.

I decided I was going to do Insanity workout. And yes, it’s absolutely insane and the other part of the title, Asylum, should have stopped me, but I did it anyways (I did do it a few years ago for two weeks, but I guess I forgot how awful it was). I decided to do it, not every day like the calendar says, but 2 days a week, following the calendar. Needless to say I thought I was going to die. I had to open a window at one point, I kept sitting down, I felt dizzy… And I decided I couldn’t do it. So, I contacted one of my friends and asked her if she could make a program for me, because I simply couldn’t do it.

My after workout smoothie (something is better than nothing, right?)

I will have the program soon, and I will start following it. But here is what the main part and the main question of this post is. I am terribly afraid that I am going to do the same thing and simply quit, like with everything else workout related.

So, I would like to ask you… What do you do to motivate yourself? Do you have rewards for yourself? What kind of rewards are they? How do you stay focused and get up when you feel like laying down and watching tv, while eating the best chocolate you’ve ever tasted?

Do you have any tips and tricks regarding the workout itself, maybe even diet?

I would really appreciate it if you shared your experience and your tips and tricks with me!

Thank you for reading!
See you soon xx